I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
