did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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