so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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