her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
