if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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