What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
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