exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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