so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
