im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
