dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
