sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
