ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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