I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
