I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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