Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
