We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
