i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
