i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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