New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
