"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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