he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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