is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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