Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
