It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
