So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
