Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
