Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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