what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
