Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
