Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
