return my video game
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
