its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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