She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
