I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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