She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
