love makes seman taste better
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
