Your face is a jimmy john
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
