And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
