Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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