Don't you send me to vm
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
