I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
