There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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