Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
false alarm. still invincible.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
