"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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