what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
