They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
