I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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