Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Randomize
