it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
