I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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