Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
