I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
