this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
