I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The power of my boobs compel you
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
